Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:13-16, emphasis mine)
Although I enter God’s throne room on a pretty consistent basis, I do not always approach boldly. Many times I creep up to the throne timidly, afraid to utter my requests.
Other times I ramble on and on with one prayer request after another, and as I leave the throne room I turn and casually mention one more over my shoulder, sort of an “Oh, if you have time for one more…” attitude. It’s not that that last request doesn’t mean much to me; in fact, many times it’s at the forefront of my thoughts. But I am sometimes afraid to ask for it, because I feel like perhaps I’m being greedy or am not thankful for what I already have, like I’m a spoiled child unsatisified with all the Christmas gifts I’ve just received and am asking for more. I know that’s not how God sees me, but Satan tries to convince me otherwise. It’s his way of trying to shortcircuit my intimacy with God through prayer.
It is intriguing to me that God expects and actually wants us to have confidence in coming before Him in prayer. Of course, He already knows our deepest longings and desires anyway, but He still wants to hear them from us. He longs for that connection and intimacy that comes with sharing what’s on our hearts.
I am learning to approach Him more boldly in my prayers. This week I realized that there are some deep desires that I have prayed off and on about for a long time now, but I have failed to commit to consistently praying for them. I’ve made a new resolve to boldly and daily lift up these desires in my prayers to God, not as an afterthought, but acknowleging them as the intense desires that they are.
Does that mean that God will answer those prayers in the way that I want? Not necessarily. But I do trust that He will reveal Himself to me in ways that He can only do through that increased intimacy that is developing.